Rikdo FQX
WRITTEN OATH I, Koshi Rikdo, hereby pledge, in the event that "Excel Saga" is animated, that I have given the staff full authority over its contents, etc., and that I will not complain, protest, condemn, or file charges.
Oath
I, Koshi Rikdo, hereby pledge,
in the event that Excel Saga is animated,
that I have given the staff full authority over its contents,
and that regardless of how the finished product turns out,
I will not take such actions as complaining,
protesting, condemning, or filing charges.
Koshi Rikdo
Sore wa ai ja nai
That isn't love
Ai wa sore ja nai
Love isn't that
Aishite iru kedo aisarete wa inai
I am in love, but I am not loved
Kesshite ai ja nai
Definitely isn't love
Ketsu wa ai ja nai
Derriere isn't love
Aisaretai keredo motometari wa shinai
I want to be loved, but I never seek it out
Kono mi sasagete inochi nagedashi
I offer myself and throw my life away
Wakime mo furazu tada hitasura ni
Looking neither left nor right, I will just earnestly
Damashite sukashite yokohairi
Cheat, wheedle, interfere
Tanin o fumitaoshi keri o kamashite
And trample down and kick strangers
- Tonzura koite! - Tonzura koite!
- And we get the hell out! - And we get the hell out!
- Tonzura koite! - Tonzura koite!
- And we get the hell out! - And we get the hell out!
- Tonzura koite! - Tonzura koite!
- And we get the hell out! - And we get the hell out!
Tonzura koite!
And we get the hell out!
Banana no kawa de korondemo
Even if I slip on a banana peel
Sore wa subete ano kata no tame
It is all for his sake anyway
Shiite iu nara sore wa kitto
If anything, that is probably
Ai to iu na no chuuseishin
A kind of loyalty called love
30th Graduation Ceremony Publi Inunabe High School
- We're graduating! - Bye-bye!
- Farewell!
Excel, did you find a job yet?
ACROSS!
It's an accident. An accident.
She is so dead.
She's bleeding. She's bleeding.
ACR
All right, grab the other leg for me!
Ready!
Hey, you! Hang in there, in your own way!
She's still got just a tad bit of a pulse of sorts.
ACROSS...
You can do it!
I have no basis for this, but it might just be too early to die.
Oh, my, her life's flashing by.
That's no good.
Hail, Ilpala...
Hey, you! Hang in there!
Hey, don't cross over! Don't fall into the eternal sleep!
Hey! Hey! Hello?!
Excel...
Wake up, Excel.
Excel, you must not die the moment the show starts.
Life is valuable, but more than that, consider the storyline.
You are...
- I am the Will. - What'll we do? She's dead.
- The Great Will of the Macrocosm. - Wanna just dump her? At a convenience store or something?
Now, with my great powers, let us start the story over again.
That was simple.
He's talking about you, Will.
Don't mind me.
Hail, Ilpalazzo!
This world is corrupt! In order to...
Yay! Lord Ilpalazzo, hurray!
Il-Il-pala-pala-zzo-zzo-zzo!
Hey, what's that rope?
Never mind that now. More importantly...
Il-Il-pala-pala.
- This world is corrupt! - Lord Ilpalazzo! Love, love!
In order to prevent further degeneration,
the world must be set to rights.
However, if...
Yahoo! Lord Ilpalazzo! Dynamite love! Lord Ilpalaz... However, if...
Yahoo! Lord Ilpalazzo! Dynamite love! Lord Ilpalaz...
It is only proper that the world should be set to rights.
Oh, so much to do, so little time.
However, if we were to suddenly unite the world,
the ignorant masses will surely be unable to keep pace.
Thus, we will start with this one country.
However, in order to avoid pushing ourselves too hard
and to be extra prudent, we will go one step further.
With this, there will be nothing to worry about.
A reasonable plan of conquest that allows for some leeway.
The first step towards our ideal.
In other words, our goal is...
The conquest of this city!
Conquest. Oh, what an arrogant and yet grand idea!
It's way too splendid, Lord Ilpalazzo!
I, Excel, will do anything for you, Lord Ilpalazzo!
Through fire! Burn, burn!
Through water! Pouring!
If you tell me to strip, I'll strip straight away.
If you tell me to throw up, I'll throw up.
As an officer of ACROSS
and as a maiden who loves Lord Ilpalazzo...
Oh, please take me, Lord Ilpala...
You must not rely on that too much.
I'll be careful!
Excel, do you know what these are?
Excel Saga
Manga books, aren't they?
Correct. It is a published material
that is circulated in exceedingly large quantities in this country.
However, its contents are base and vulgar!
How horrible!
The world that ACROSS will build has no need of such things!
Therefore, in anticipation of that day,
I want you to liquidate the race of manga artists,
who create this material.
Woohoo! Liquidate!
Yes, my Lord!
If it is your command, your humble servant, Excel,
will blindly liquidate anyone, be they manga artists or animators!
Then this man is your first target.
Koshi Rikdo (Manga Artist)
I am counting on you to do well.
You got it!
Liquidate! Liquidate! For Lord Ilpalazzo!
Genocide without even asking the reason why!
One shot of will to kill!
You're just a manga artist, discharging evil into society!
How dare you live in a place with a roof?!
Controversial Statement
Koshi Rikdo
It's show time.
Lookie here. He's got weirdo things all lined up.
Target locked.
Rikdo, Rikdo, drawing up manga.
Three days since I skipped the deadline.
Still only three days.
Kill!
Ki...
Good luck
Excel, it's wrong, wrong, wrong!
You must never murder, no matter what Lord Ilpalazzo commands!
If the manga artist kicked the bucket, there are people who...
What the hell are ya hesitatin' over at this late date?!
In Lord Ilpalazzo's world,
the manga artists are all gonna get purged anyway!
Kill 'im! Kill 'im!
What the hell are ya sayin'?!
A person's life is weightier than the Earth!
Take that!
Lord Ilpalazzo's command is weightier than the Earth too!
No! My heart is wavering this way and that!
Oh! Oh! You can do it, my brain cells!
Gestapo! Gestapo!
The bullet of justice that destroys evil!
How do you like that?!
What dirty justice.
It is fine, Etchan!
Now, go boldly down the path that is right!
Boldly!
Riku
Well, that's all then.
Ah, well, this is...
So, you see, that and that are this and this...
Hey, what are you doing, Mister?!
Robber?!
No, no, I am not a robber.
Please no! Please no!
Please don't worry. I only came here to liquidate you, so...
That's right. By the order of Lord Ilpalazzo,
I will... I will...
Due to the harmful nature of the current screen, please watch this image screen instead.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- Help... - Please just think that you've been bitten by a stray dog and die!
My, what a tenacious bastard. Take that!
Death
I've done it, Lord Ilpalazzo!
I said, I've done it, Lord Ilpalazzo!
Today's mission completed, with love.
I wonder what kinda manga he was drawing?
This is...
Excel, Excel...
You must not kill the original author.
I'm so sorry. I suppose it was wrong.
Now, I will restore the story to normality with my great powers.
Here we go!
We are very sorry for the inconvenience - Soko Mate Construction
What? Me?
Okay! Go!
You, taxi, stop! Stop! Go! Go! And stop, stop!
Go and stop! Oh yeah, baby!
I wonder if I'll last for eight hours like this?
Hey, part-timer girl!
Yo, Foreman!
There's ten tons coming.
Hey, girl, you okay?
Yeah! This is nothing!
I'm amazed you survived that.
Well, of course! If I carelessly died there,
we'd have to reset the story that's already come so far.
Now, back to work! Back to work!
You certainly are a hard worker. Good, good.
Even this building will eventually belong to Lord Ilpalazzo.
The ignorant masses are slaving away, working hard to build it.
So, it certainly gives me incentive to work too.
Ah, well, well.
Now, all you people of the ignorant masses,
for the sake of the coming purge,
sweat your blood out! Don't wipe your tears! Let's work!
Don't stop! Move and stop and move and stop!
Lord Ilpalazzo, Excel is working hard!
Visual type...
All right, all right, drive, drive!
Up and down! Round and round! Good work!
Hey, you suspicious foreign car, don't park there!
And you compact car too! Take it easy on the cutting in!
And while I'm at it, you police car! Don't speed without lights!
It's really turned into a traffic jam.
I wonder why there are so many cars?
After unification, it would be good to cut down on drivers too.
Oh?
Pedro!
Miss Excel!
Guarandoo!
Hey, you don't seem very cheerful, Pedro.
You think so?
You got something on your mind?
Try telling the true and warm Miss Excel.
This is?
Sandora, my son.
Well, please take a look at the reference footage.
Papa!
Sandora!
Welcome home, Dear.
Sandora's always so happy when you come home.
Actually, Mama's happy too. Papa, you too, right?
Why, you little!
What, you're homesick?
Yes, I am.
It's been two years since I came to Japan.
When I think of how my dear son and sexy wife might be doing...
Pedro, you idiot!
Miss Excel...
One more, you idiot!
Isn't that a little harsh?
What are you going to do by being so weak?!
If your son is really dear to you and your wife is really sexy,
then you should work and sweat for the two of them!
That's what is called true love!
Pedro is shocked!
True love...
That's right. Let's keep our little complaints to ourselves.
And right now, let's work!
That is the path that we part-timers walk!
Miss Excel, my tears are flowing like waterfalls!
Let's go, Pedro!
Yes, Miss Excel!
- Billy Jean! - John Travo...
Wear a helmet and there's nothing to worry about!
Hey, Pedro! Help me out over here!
With pleasure!
Thank you, Miss Excel.
Thanks to you, I can work again.
I was able to regain the joy of labor.
My tears are once again flowing like waterfalls!
Pedro, you really are such a hard worker.
I could do this before breakfast!
Of course, I already had lunch.
Damn, you've even picked up on the stupid Japanese jokes.
All right, I think I'll add on a little to your daily wage today.
Really?!
Don't tell that Gomez, all right?
That Gomez
Thank you, Foreman. Thank you.
Good, good.
All right! I'm gonna work hard too!
The hunger has gone to my legs.
No, bear it! Bear it!
Once I get paid for today's work,
I can have a meal legally for the first time in four days.
This is the true test of my loyalty!
For Lord Ilpalazzo!
Consider the results of our ideal and the great glory!
What's an empty stomach or two?!
The world will be ours to do with as we please!
Even the old guy!
Yes?
Even the office lady!
Yes?
Even Pedro!
Yes?
And even the mutt!
There is one Earth! If it splits, there'll be two!
Mankind all in servitude to us, and beautiful!
So can I keep on going?
Hail!
Il
pala
zzo!
Oh?
Safety - Security
Run, everyone!
Sandora!
What's he doing?! Pedro!
It's hot! It's hot!
You idiot! Pedro, you big idiot!
What should I do?
What are you hesitating for?! You must go save him!
But what if something were to happen to me too?
Who would serve Lord Ilpalazzo?
There are plenty of people who could replace you!
A human life is almost as heavy as the Earth!
Come! Work up your courage and let's go help...
Excel Department
Good Excel! You are under arrest for the murder of Bad Excel.
Well, you heard her. Take care of the rest for me.
What am I supposed to do?
- Put out the fire, quick! - This is... This is...
My arm is burning! My arm! My arm is burning!
Pedro!
This was an accident beyond human control!
Manslaughter due to Professional Negligence
Pedro!
It's no good! He's probably already...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
Mr. Foreman, everyone at the site, and Pedro...
I'm really sorry!
But I can't allow myself to get caught right now.
Necessity knows no law.
Necessity...
Oh, no. My hunger's gone to my legs after all.
Dog...
Dog
Dog -> Creature
Dog -> Creature -> Food
Stop right there!
Meat! Meat!
Meat! Stop, meat!
Mr. Pedro? Mr. Pedro?
Poor Mr. Pedro.
I will send you back to your dear son and your sexy wife.
Oh, it's time. I have to go. Ciao!
No!
The electronic guitar set that anyone can play is finally on sale!
Did you find him?!
No. Where the hell did he go, damn it?!
Why? Why is her progress after childbirth so bad?!
There's the afro guy!
Stop right there, you bastard!
Sorry, Kumiko!
Stop right there!
I'm so hungry.
I'll have to find another part-time job again.
And for that, I'd better get my strength up.
Get a nutritious meal.
Tonight, right now,
a moment of luxury as I have this meal that I spent all my money on.
Regardless of my desperate fight, I'm in the red again this month.
And so, I will have this stew, which may be my final meal...
I'll have some too!
Iwata! Bastard, where'd you come from?!
Me too!
- Hey! Sumiyoshi, not you too! - Let me have some stew!
I guess the neighbors are having stew tonight. Lucky them.
Stew! Stew! Stew! Stew!
Well, tonight, I've got...
You can't have that meat! Don't touch!
Yummy!
Stop it!
Sandora, it's dinnertime!
I told you not to keep on playing soccer by yourself.
But Papa's taking so long to come home.
Papa is at work. Don't be so unreasonable.
Okay. As long as you're here,
I can wait forever for Papa to come home.
Come on, the soup is going to get cold.
Forget about Dad.
No!
An accurate count of deaths in this terrible disaster
has still not been determined.
We will be pursuing that along with the cause...
The world is still corrupt as always.
Hail, Ilpalazzo!
Ah, Excel, wastefully cheerful as usual.
Yes! What are your orders for today?
Hmm, well...
La la la, manga artists are the scum of society, failures of life.
Lu lu lu, good for nothings.
The world won't miss us, even if we die.
For Lord Ilpalazzo... For Lord Ilpalazzo...
For Lord Ilpalazzo!
And a one, two...
Episode One Koshi Rikdo Assassination Plot
Today's experiment...
Failed
Kizuiteta ano hi kara
I knew, ever since that day
Anata ga chikazuite kitawake
The reason you had approached me
Hagotae no yawarakai
Tender and soft
Kono mi ga anata no okonomi to
That my body is to your taste
Ue ni taeteru hitomi ni
To your hunger-stricken eyes
Kono mi wa dou utsuru
How does my body seem
Shokusu nara hitoomoi ni
If you are to eat me, do it in one blow
Oniku ga kataku naranu you ni
So that the meat does not get hard
Yo, Excel here!
You there, totally flabbergasted by episode one.
Big news for the fans of the original,
who are thinking of not watching any more.
She's going to be showing up, that woman, starting next episode.
The hint is "Ha". And also blood.
In any case, we may be a pretty girl anime
where flowers bloom all over and birds fly,
but flowers bloom on heads here and our birds are harpies.
Quack Experimental Anime, Excel Saga of the end of the century!
The next episode might already have spawned a letter of apology.
Episode Two: The Woman From Mars
"The Woman From Mars"
In English, that would be "Woman came from Mars."
Oh! So glad I attended the local English school!
Speak English and make friends with ten billion people,
and let's fight with the rest of the thirty billion people!